How do you feel about this piece?

What did you think about before you wrote this?

If you could change one part, what would you change?

What is the strongest aspect of this piece?

What are your favorite lines/paragraphs and why are they your favorite?

My Name Is

When I was back in Vienna... things were really different for me. I was different. I had this best friend named Zara. She was such an amazing person/friend. Last year Zara and I were walking downtown to this local bakery. Right before we got there, I saw this girl I know in one of the other stores so I told Zara to get a head start and I'd meet her at the bakery in a minute. The next part I remember all too well. I turned around to go into the store--one, two, three seconds--went up to my friend--four, five, six seconds--said Hello...seven, eight, nine, ten seconds--Sometimes in this life there are these brief moments that I so terribly wish I could eliminate. Elimination is unfortunately impossible in this life though, so I suppose we all just have to adapt to the oblivion of our fate... I turned around and there was Zara's small, cold, body lying motionless against the ground. You know, the weird thing is I can't remember hearing anyone talking. All I remember is running out of the store, my face drenched in sweat and tears, and looking down over Zara. I tried, for YEARS, to erase those memories. Trust me when I say, it is better to deal with tragic situations like this one, than to forcefully forget them. I though for all those years that it was my fault...if I was just walking with her, maybe the guy would have seen us better when he pulled out onto the street. The guy who hit her was thirty-four and drunk. He didn't notice Zara crossing the street so he pulled out and hit her. The worst part of this whole thing is that this man was a coward. When he heard and saw the limb body of Zara lying on the street, he sped away. He left her there, in the middle of the street, like a dead animal. No, Even when hitting an animal, people still stay to help it. Zara's a human though, she still had a chance of life. Her breath vanished when the medics finally arrived. I-- can't stand the thought of going back to that town. Back to the place where Zara's presence lays, still on that cold gravel. If I went back, it would all still be there. The memories from that day are so clear now, I know if I went back they would become real again. 


(I am satisfied with the plot aspect of this short story. I think that i could have spent more time proofing it so it would be more believable and what not. Before I wrote this short story I don't remember exactly what I was thinking about. I just wrote what I would normally enjoy reading. If I could change one part I think I would make the Relationship between Zara and   Wesley a little bit more awkward... Maybe have Wesley never get over Zara or something like that. That would add humor, but also a sweet yet creepy mood to that topic. My favorite part of the short story is the orange part that is highlighted. I like this part the best because I can see Zara saying this and really feeling the emotion for it. I think Zara's fear is alive in her mind and I think at this point she is just getting closer and closer to facing her fears. Facing her fears is my absolute favorite part of the entire story. I think when people face their fears it's wonderful and completely inspiring.) 

The Long Way Back

. His soul began to drift away as he read…
                Dear William,

I’ve been lost in thought lately, trying to figure out ways to tell you how I feel. I felt like my thoughts would break you, and that’s something I couldn’t deal with seeing. That’s why I’ve decided to write you this letter and by the time you read it, I will be gone. I know you have a thousand questions as to why I’m leaving you and Nova like this…I only hope one day you’ll be able to understand. If that day never happens—just know that I am really sorry I had to say goodbye like this. I know you will be an amazing father to Nova.
Bye William.

Tears fell from Williams face onto that letter. After that day William would find himself constantly wondering where April was. He tried finding her numerous times, but at the end of the day he would walk into his room and sit there in there the quiet. He would reminisce on the memories they had together knowing that new ones would probably never be created. April was good friends with Emily, the Potters next door neighbor. One sunny summer day, Emily peered out her window and saw William planting flowers in what used to be, April’s garden. She had known what happened with the family and she noticed how William couldn’t move on from it.  Emily decided to tell William where his lost love was hiding for all these years. He knelt himself onto the ground and began to cry. He was embarrassed to break down like this in front of Emily, but this information hit a heart string. His searching was over because she was found. In some sense, William wished that Emily had never told him where April was, the search for her was all her had left of her. Now that it was over, she was officially gone, lost with the wind, never to return to him…

(This short story is the first one I've written this year. Before I wrote it I think again I was trying to write something that I would naturally find appealing. The girl on a journey, a dad that is unable to move on from the past...a lot of what I write is about overcoming fears or situations. I often wonder why I write in patterns like that and it may be because I like to be there when people overcome what's holding them back. I think it's wonderful when people find inner strength and become able to conquer what scares them--what holds them back. If I could change one thing, I would expand on the part of how church influences Nova and William and I would also expand on the part when Nova takes the road trip. I would write more details on the trip and what changes take place especially on the way back. My favorite part of the piece in my eyes is the part highlighted in pink. I like that part because I think it has a lot of emotion to it and honestly...I    appreciate a lot of emotion. Emotion in stories can bring out a lot in the reader which is cool. I think what makes this story powerful is even if it's a bit exaggerated. Readers would be able to connect with something, whether it be the emotions the characters are feeling, or the actual situations the characters go through. )

Holding Steady

I hope you find your way
I’d hope this is your way

I pray that you’ll become lost
I pray lost will show the way

You are so cold inside
You won’t find a way

You are rather somber 

Peace walks your way

I will grasp on to a naïve hope
One day you may find your way

(     The poetry section has been challenging, but really rewarding. Before I wrote this, I had to research a poem form known as a ghazal. Ghazal's can be tricky, but for this one specifically I linked this to some people in my life. There is a mood shift towards the center of the piece. The poem goes from hoping this person will find a way to praying that this person will be lost. It's contradictory shifts,and confusion explains what goes on in my head most of the time. I feel the strongest aspect of this piece would probably be the fact that this poem could be geared towards someone and when a reader notices that, some may be able to relate. My favorite part of the poem is the part highlighted in purple. I just enjoy the way it reads. The line is short, but both flow well together. If I were to change something about the poem, it would probably be my diction. I would try to use more inflated diction throughout the poem. This poem is defiantly not one of my favorites because ghazals tend to be about a higher power, almost like praising a higher power, but this one is just about emotions towards a person. I wrote it that way to just to try it out and experiment using a different subject.)

Brokenness

Walking out upon a cold earth
flaws in the sky, light on earth

You said it is good
The light on earth

Oceans run wild
Streams on earth

You declare it is good
Oceans wild on earth

Surrounds us from right to left
Love came down on this earth

(      I feel that this poem is just okay. Again like the one above it, it's certainly not my favorite poem. I think the best aspect of the poem is the subject. I like the fact that it is about God and that in a way it's also an allusion. In the bible it talks about when God created the world in seven days and that's what I was trying to reference in the poem. Before I wrote this I was thinking about God and what to write about him and what awesome things I could write about. If I could change one part of this it would have to be the fact I didn't include all seven ways that God created the world. The strongest aspect of this piece is the uniqueness I think. Some people might not know what the poem is really about, but it would be neat if a reader would figure out the allusion. My favorite line of the poem is the last one highlighted in light blue. I like this one because it kind of brings the whole poem together. I also believe that love is always around us and sometimes we forget that. Sometimes we don't remember that we are surrounded by love and it's not good because love is what I think makes the world go around.)

Love is alive

Peaceful is your house
I glide into your house

Boulders lift from my bones
I am renewed in your house

Your love is found in wide waters
Engulfed with love in your house

Fell down, turned away, ruined
You endow grace in your house

Materialistic love is an allusion
Real love is alive in your house

(     This is one of the ghazal poems that first wrote and this one I really like. This one again is about God and his house (church). When I wrote this one I was thinking about what I feel like when I enter the doors of the church I go to. I feel calm. I am usually there for hours and even after all of the time being there at the end I wish I didn't have to go home. My favorite part of this poem is the line highlighted in green. I like this line because even when one falls down a thousand times God will always be there to love them and help them up. It's powerful to know that because after a while it becomes easier to lift yourself up when you fall. The strongest aspect of this poem has to be the connection that it will have with some of the readers. I guess connection is the biggest thing in most of the stuff I write, but then again I guess anyone could connect with any type of story. A part of this poem I would change is the line highlighted in red. This line does not get my point across as strong as I would like it to. I feel that materialistic love is highly evident in society today. With all of the technology in the world these days, people are starting to depend way too much on there're smart phones and such. To me, love doesn't exist inside any sync card in phones or video games. I believe that love exists all around us not in a substance form, but almost like the wind. The wind is quiet and we are engulfed in it, the wind is like God's love. We don't see him, but he is here with us and he feels are pain and our happiness and our sin and he decides to love us even with all of our baggage.)

Arranged Poem:

You are: true

So loving and so true

So merciful and true

Remind me who You are

So gracious and true

I know that You write upon my heart

So gracious, So patient, so true

I know that You are for me

I know that You are true

And I know that You have come now

To remind me who You are: true

(     This is a ghazal poem, but it is written with random lines from songs. I don't particularly favor this poem that much. I think that I would have rather written it myself without the using song lyrics. Maybe it is my fault for not putting the song lyrics together the right way. Most of the songs that I picked for this poem are indeed Christian songs and this poem is indeed talking about God again. Ghazal's are suppose to be about a higher power and they are also suppose to be love poems so that is what I have created with this poem. My favorite line is probably the line highlighted in pink. That is honestly the only line that sounds somewhat good to me. The rest of the poem is just a little dry. In this case it doesn't help that ghazal poems need to have a constant word throughout. I don't think that the word true is one that I would prefer to be a constant word throughout the poem. It's not too interesting, it doesn't draw people in, it almost draws people away.)

Ode Poem Form

I saw you singing
I heard you speak
glance, but I am invisible
Weeks seep by
its summer out here
you still don’t see
I am standing, walking, talking
we will not cross paths this time
you still stream into my mind
I stayed late
the stars were out
your eyes finally saw
I can walk now
 next to me is you
 a friend I see—in you 

(     This poem is from when we switched poetic forms with other classmates. An ode poem could be about anything, but one has to make up ones own rhyme scheme for it. This poem tells a story. It starts off as a person being ignored and then towards the end this person notices them and they later become friends. It's just something I found myself pondering on the day I wrote this. I do like this poem because I like when I can look back at things I write or pictures I take and remember why I wrote them or where I was. My favorite part of this poem is the light blue highlighted lines. I like that part the best because I feel like this happens all of the time to people. They wish that they would cross paths with this person, but it never seems to happen. The thing is many people focus only on that fact, they don't take a minute to think maybe that is just how it's meant to be. Maybe some paths aren't made to be passed, think about how your life may be affected if you cross paths with someone else. It also depends on the reason why you would want to cross paths with a person. If you think that this person will somehow help you or give you guidance, than meeting each other will be worth while. I your intentions are to meet this person because they are attractive, but you don't know anything about this person, meeting them may have a horrible outcome. It all depends and I guess that is something a reader could analyze on while observing the poem. )

Ocean

A: Gently gazing silent swaying movement

B: Ancient oceans fading beautiful fear

A: Broken mystery breaking waves improvement

B: Walking away genuine turn to peer

C: Behind you the sea of secrets is full

D: A whirlpool of years live on in the dark

C: Losing your way and giving up your soul

D: Forgetting the painful, selfish remark

E: Alone you sit below the glowing sun

F: As the water rises the thoughts fade grey

E: The past washes out not to be undone

F: You let go…you feel free… yet faraway

G: Sand consumes, laying there against the land

G: Thinking too much, not enough to withstand

(     Well this poem is the one I wrote for the poetry contest for Creative Writing class. The assignment was to write a poem about one subject that may appear as a simple subject, and then write about how it's actually more significant than simple. I wrote about the ocean or beach if you will. When I go to the beach it's renewing and peaceful. The beach is a magnificent place to go to release stress and just think about your day and life. My favorite line is (c, d) where it's highlighted in blue. That is my favorite line because, speaking metaphorically, I think that the ocean is full of many secrets and stories that people will never release from their minds. The ocean is full of the truth, but it will never reveal the truth. Laying on the beach and staring up at the sky is just such great therapy, knowing that you are so small and that you live in a world full of life and love, hurt and pain. There are so many people on this earth and when I visit the beach I can remember that. When I go to the beach I can forget everything that was on my mind when I first got there and remember that it all doesn't matter in the big picture. That is all I was trying to display in thus poem.